5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM BLOGGING: 2 YEAR BLOGIVERSARY

This past week, I celebrated the second anniversary of my blog 'Reinventing Rae NYC'. What started out as a way to let friends/family get a glimpse into my life here in the city, soon became more than that. Writing has also become an outlet and has allowed me to connect with so many amazing people through my blog and social media. I learned so much in my first year of blogging. And this year has been more trial and error. I focused more on social media, being more intent with my content, as well as design. My website underwent a huge makeover last month and I decided to change platforms using Squarespace. It has been by far the best investment I've made with my blog. This year I also realized that blogging is something I really want to start treating as a business and I've learned a lot along the way. 

1. BE AUTHENTIC

My goal from the very beginning has been to be 100% real when it comes to the content on my blog . And I've always said I wanted to share the good with the bad and even the messy parts of my life. This has proven to be something that my audience appreciates. Often times it's when I write the most real and vulnerable blog posts, is when my audience engages the most. It's easy to only want to share the pretty stuff, but life isn't perfect and your readers don't expect for you to be either. Your audience will want to follow your journey even more if they feel like they can relate to you, perfect or not. 

2. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER'S

Now days with social media, it's easy to get caught up in the comparison trap. And often times with so many bloggers out there, it's hard to feel like you stand out from the crowd. But I've learned that there IS enough room for everyone, including myself. Every blogger has a different story and purpose. And that's what makes it great for bloggers, we all bring something different to relate to. So don't waste time comparing yourself to someone else out there. People will follow you for being YOU.

3. ENGAGE WITH YOUR AUDIENCE

In my first year of blogging, I wasn't consistent enough with engaging with my audience and it was definitely something I wanted to change. I didn't always know how or what to say to get people to want to comment on my blog posts or Instagram photos. So one thing, I've done differently is ask more questions with each blog post and social media posts. This has helped in getting the conversation flowing. I also try to comment on other bloggers content and social media as often as I can. For me, one of the best things about being a Blogger, is getting to interact with followers and other creatives.

4. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP

There is so much more to blogging than just writing great content. There's choosing a platform, social media, photography, networking, promoting, collaborating and lots of planning in between. It's impossible to know how to do everything because blogging is constantly evolving. Thankfully Facebook groups exist, where like minded bloggers can ask all the questions and get advice on areas where you may not be as knowledgeable. One of my favorite Facebook groups is Think Creative Collective. I've learned to stop trying to learn it all on my own and ask for help when needed. Because trust me, no one has it all figured out at first! 

5. DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Being a blogger means getting to write about the things you LOVE. Whether it be fashion, beauty, lifestyle or the city you live in. And getting to share my life here in New York with complete strangers is pretty amazing. Blogging for me, has given me the opportunity to share life stories, connect with amazing people and has often been like free therapy in the process. It's true what they say, if you love what you do, then it doesn't feel like work.  

What would you like to see more of on the blog!? Drop your ideas in the comments below.

XO, Rae

HOW TO COPE WITH DIVORCED PARENTS AS AN ADULT

Divorce is something I am all to familiar with. At the age of two, my mother divorced my father. I don't really remember much other than my father not being around afterward. But years later, I remember reading something my mother wrote in my baby book. She wrote how she hoped that the divorce wouldn't screw me up. 

My Mom remarried when I was 7 years old. And my stepfather essentially became the Dad that I never had and took on the role of raising me. They both have helped shape me into the person I am today and we have always been close. But no family is perfect and ours certainly wasn't. After 25 years of marriage, they separated last year and have since divorced. 

I knew it was for the better but it broke me down in ways I never could have imagined. I wasn't prepared for the aftermath and how it would effect me not having the parental unit I was accustomed to having all these years. The first six months I felt depressed and sad by everything that was taking place. One parent was moving on too fast and starting a whole new life and one parent was still struggling to deal with the reality. I felt torn between the two and neither one of them seemed to notice my feelings at all. 

And to make it worse, there was little comfort or understanding from friends and family. Everyone seemed to have the same attitude of "oh well, life happens". But it was MY life and it did matter. And trust me, I never thought that being in my thirties and having divorced parents would be such a big deal. But the truth is, divorce is hard no matter what age you are. You are not bullet proof to the emotions of something just because you're an adult. 

I've had to learn how to set boundaries with both parents all while trying to rebuild my relationship with them individually. How to factor in holidays and visits and everything in between. And because there is no manual on how to deal with it all. I felt like I needed to share the things that helped me in the process. 

1. TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED TO

By this I mean, distance yourself if need be. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Both parents have to deal with their new reality and you have to allow yourself the time to do the same. And don't feel guilty about it. We all need a break from time to time.

2. SORT THROUGH YOUR FEELINGS

You may feel a sense of loss and sadness and it's important to recognize those feelings and deal with them. Talk to someone, write down how you feel and be honest with yourself. And know that you're allowed to feel this way even if others don't understand it.

3. FIND ONE PERSON YOU CAN CONFIDE IN

Your friends may not be sympathetic to your situation. And like any big change in life, you will need someone who can be a listening ear when needed. I am so thankful for my friend, Jackie. She took my calls at any time of day and was there for me when ever I needed a friend. I told her things that I could barely admit to myself. Having someone there you can trust and confide in will help you to get through the worst of days.

4. BE OPEN TO THE CHANGES YOUR PARENTS WILL MAKE IN THEIR LIVES

To be honest, this is still something I am getting used to. It's not easy to see your parents move on and be with other people. And they often start to live a completely different life than they did before. But if I've learned anything through this process, it's that everyone deserves to be happy. And although you may not agree with their new life decisions, it's their choice to make.

5. SET BOUNDARIES

At some point you will have to set boundaries with each parent. And it can often feel like you're putting them in "time out". But in order for you to have a healthy relationship with them individually, you will have to let them know when they are crossing a line. And it's okay to not want to hear every detail of their divorce, or who did what wrong and even things about their new significant other. YOU get to set the boundaries of what makes you comfortable.

6. ESTABLISH INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH PARENT

Now that each parent has moved on in different directions. You will have to reestablish your relationship with each parent individually. You will also have to find ways to communicate, share holidays and factor in visits. Dedicate some time to spend with each parent separately to re-familiarize yourself with one another. 

It's been a long year of high emotions, changes and accepting the reality of my family's new normal. But I'm thankful that we each seem to have found some sort of peace within ourselves amidst the chaos.  

If you've experienced divorce, what helped you to cope?

XO, Rae

NYC LIVING: 12 RULES OF LIVING IN NEW YORK

Living in New York City isn't always easy. Although most New Yorkers couldn't imagine living anywhere else, including myself. It takes a certain amount of patience and resilience to live here. However, there are some ways to make the day to day life in the city a bit easier. Here are some tips for living in New York.

1. MASTER THE ART OF PACKING FOR THE DAY

A typical day in New York can consist of many things; including work, a gym session, happy hour or even a night out to dinner and a Broadway show. Packing a bag for the day is essential. Because often times you don't have time to make the trip home in between activities. I usually carry with me everything from a change of shoes, dry shampoo, hair brush, make up bag, jacket, a book, umbrella and phone charger. Most places including restaurants have bag check so you never have to worry about having your hands full when out somewhere. 

2. DRESS IN LAYERS

No matter the season here in the New York, you will often find yourself constantly stuck between hot & cold. Being that you will spend most of your time outside, you never know what the weather may bring. Wearing layers that you can remove or add is key. This way you can be comfortable no matter what the temperature is outside or even inside.

3. ALWAYS CARRY CASH

Although we live in the world of debit cards and Venmo. There are still many places in the city that ONLY accept cash. This includes Bodegas, your favorite food truck and even some restaurants. Always carry cash, you never know when you may need it. 

4. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE RUNNING LATE

New Yorkers may often seem like they're in a hurry. And that's because more often than not, they are. Walking blocks/avenues, hailing cabs and chasing after the Subway is exhausting. No matter how much you plan ahead, you can't predict traffic or the MTA for that matter.

5. LEARN DIRECTIONS (CROSS STREETS) 

When it comes to directions, New Yorkers go by streets and not addresses. Even when taking a cab, make sure to know the cross streets of your destination. Because chances are high your cab driver won't know the physical address if given by itself. 

6. TIP YOUR DELIVERY GUY

The holy grail of New York City is delivery. You can get Chinese takeout, weekly groceries or even a bottle of wine delivered right to your apartment doorstep. But having this luxury means someone else is doing the heavy lifting. Which often includes schlepping through the snow, rain and even up flights of stairs. Make sure to tip accordingly. 

7. FIND FREE THINGS TO DO IN THE CITY

It's no secret that living in New York is expensive. However, there is always something to do in the city and often times it can come with little to no cost. It's all about staying up to date on the latest events and FREE things to do in NYC. Year round there are free concerts, festivals, street fairs, free museum days and more that don't have to break the bank. 

8. DON'T TAKE UP THE SIDEWALKS

New Yorkers walk with a purpose. And if given the chance they may in fact run you over if you're in their way. In order to avoid this, steer to the right when walking on the sidewalks, in order to let people pass you on the left. And NEVER stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Step to the side if needed so foot traffic can keep moving. This is basic NYC etiquette. 

9. BE NICE TO THE SUPER OF YOUR BUILDING

The Super of your apartment building is essentially responsible for any and all maintenance. At some point or another you may need your Super for any one of these things: re-caulk your shower, kill a rodent, install your window AC unit or even help you get into your apartment after locking yourself out. So needless to say, it pays to be nice to your Super because you never know when you may need him to come to your rescue.

10. NEVER GET ON THE EMPTY TRAIN CAR

There is no worse feeling than when you realize that you just stepped into any empty train car. Leaving you with no choice but to wait it out until the next stop. Because it means one of two things: either there is a homeless person making that train car their home for the night or the AC isn't working and you're going to be sweating for the next few minutes until you reach the next stop. Neither of which make for a pleasant train ride.

11. TAKE A CAB AFTER MIDNIGHT

Remember when your parents used to tell you; nothing good happens after midnight. Well, this applies to the Subway in New York City. Not only will it take you twice as long to get home due to train delays, you'll most likely have to endure drunk passengers or a crowded train with standing room only. Taking a taxi or Uber is totally worth the extra money spent to get home safely.

12. MAKE TIME TO ESCAPE THE CITY

New York can take a toll on you with long work hours and the constant hustle of the city. So it's important to take advantage of any downtime you have. Whether you take a day to Netflix and chill, spend an afternoon at Central Park or book a weekend getaway, do it often. 

What are some rules of living in NYC that you've adopted?  

XO, Dana Rae